Page 32 - LOTN Spring Issue 52 2023
P. 32
MISCELLANY
ALLSORTS OF
EVERYTHING
A Sneeze Sounds Different A Scots boy came home from school and told his
Around the World mother he had been given a part in the school play.
While people in English- "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?" The
speaking countries tend to say boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!"
"achoo" and French-speaking The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your
countries go with the similar teacher you want a speaking part."
sounding "atchoum," Germans
say "hatschi" and the Japanese In the middle of foggy night in the North-west
say "hakshun." Atlantic.....two lights are heading directly for one
another... and on the radio an American voice is
I don't believe it! heard saying "We suggest you alter course by 10
The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is degrees to port". Back comes the reply "We suggest
believed to be the toughest tongue twister in the YOU alter course by 10 degrees to port!" Then the
English language. American voice says "This is the battleship USS
Missouri leading the American Atlantic battle fleet.
You had better alter course by 10 degrees to port."
The longest one-syllable words in the English Back comes the reply "This is the Outer Hebrides
language are "scraunched" and "strengthed." lighthouse, but it's your call, Jimmy".
Some suggest that "squirreled" could be included,
but squirrel is intended to be pronounced as two The Sunday School teacher asked the class "How
syllables (squir-rel) according to most dictionaries. many of you want to go to Heaven?" Everyone but
"Screeched" and "strengths" are two other long wee Hughie put their hands up. "Don't you want to
one-syllable words, but they only have 9 letters. go to Heaven, Hughie" asked the teacher. "I can't
miss. My Mum said I had to come straight home after
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the Sunday School."
letters "mt".
This limerick goes in reverse
Did you know that enneacontakaienneagon is Unless I’m remiss
actually a word in the English language meaning a The neat thing is this:
shape with ninety-nine sides! If you start from the bottom-most verse
This limerick’s not any worse.
William Shakespeare —Zach Weiner
(1564-1616) invented
over 1700 of our common “Insufficient Funds”
English words including
the following: addiction,
arch-villain, blood-stained,
champion, dwindle, green-
eyed, moonbeam, torture,
worthless, zany.
I didn’t realise that I was addicted to crosswords but
when I look back now, all the clues were there!
A slice of apple pie is £2.50 in Jamaica and £3 in the
Bahamas… If you visit the Vatican City, just hope you were paying
There are the pie rates of the Caribbean. attention at school because the Vatican's bank is the
only one in existence that allows ATM users to perform
I hope Elon Musk never gets involved in a scandal… transactions in Latin. Priests from all over the world
Elon-gate would be really drawn out. come to the Vatican so having the ATM operate in Latin
makes a lot of sense.
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